IN PRAISE OF TURKEY
Christmas's bird. Turkey Lurkey. Gobble Gobble.
Yeah, you may laugh. You may mock and turn your back on the turkey and think you're so frickin' now and 'on trend' by having goose or duck instead. I've even done it myself and fetched a poncy chicken stuffed with goose and duck from Borough Market. It ain't the same.
Let me take you back to Dickens - and 'A Christmas Carol' :
"It's Christmas Day!" said Scrooge to himself. "I haven't missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course they can. Of course they can. Hallo, my fine fellow!"
"Hallo!" returned the boy.
"Do you know the Poulterer's, in the next street but one, at the corner?" Scrooge inquired.
"I should hope I did," replied the lad.
"An intelligent boy!" said Scrooge. "A remarkable boy! Do you know whether they"ve sold the prize Turkey that was hanging up there -- Not the little prize Turkey: the big one?"
"What, the one as big as me?" returned the boy.
"What a delightful boy!" said Scrooge. "It's a pleasure to talk to him. Yes, my buck."
"It's hanging there now," replied the boy.
"Is it?" said Scrooge. "Go and buy it."
"Walk-er!" exclaimed the boy.
"No, no," said Scrooge, "I am in earnest. Go and buy it, and tell them to bring it here, that I may give them the direction where to take it. Come back with the man, and I'll give you a shilling. Come back with him in less than five minutes and I'll give you half-a-crown."
Scrooge buying big turkey = happy Bob Cratchitt and family plus Tiny Tim being able to say 'God bless you every-one'.
and 'Little Women':
"There never was such a Christmas dinner as they had that day. The fat turkey was a sight to behold, when Hannah sent him up, stuffed, browned, and decorated. So was the plum pudding, which melted in one's mouth, likewise the jellies, in which Amy reveled like a fly in a honeypot. Everything turned out well, which was a mercy, Hannah said, "For my mind was that flustered, Mum, that it's a merrycle I didn't roast the pudding, and stuff the turkey with raisins, let alone bilin' of it in a cloth."
So turkey has been - and still is about the pleasure of eating, a visual delight of taste and smell. A tradition that can conjure up happy memories and festive times, of being together as a family and celebrating.
However, the ritual of Christmas dinner normally involves a comedy sketch with a stressed out chef trying to work out how long to cook it for, with the pressure and burden of a family's hunger weighing about as heavily as the turkey on his/her shoulders. Will it even fit in the oven? A chicken or duck just isn't big enough for the job. I got sent a viral virtual turkey in an oven last year with the challenge of how long to cook it for. I was also subjected to the voluptous and silk-dressing gown-clad Nigella Lawson avec rubber gloves manhandling her turkey into a briny, spicy, herby bath to soak overnight - I didn't try it myself and my Mum, official turkey cooker wasn't convinced either. No dry old bird for us!
You may think eating turkey on Christmas day came from the US and Thanksgiving. In fact in Medieval England peacock or boar was traditional. It wasn't until the 1700's that turkey became king. Served with roast potatoes, cranberry, bread sauce, sprouts and the ubiquitous stuffing and gravy you can't fail to herald 25th December, and all the indigestion, calories and joy it brings with it.
Even Wieden & Kennedy's Christmas card this time around was an Indian menu with recipes for turkey curries - embracing the old and giving it a twist. Videojug shows you how to make your own.
Ducks are for feeding bread to in the park, you don't eat them. They are bred purely for entertainment - look at Donald / Daffy / Jemima Puddle Duck - don't mess with the kid's heads.
A vote for Turkey is a vote for Christmas.
I do love a classical literary argument.
Especially when set against an extremely post-modern comic strip.
If it was good enough for Dickens...
Posted by: Jared | January 22, 2007 at 06:13 PM
Red's dead!
Posted by: Colman | January 22, 2007 at 11:51 PM
I bet you've got your whole family to vote duck haven't you?
Posted by: claire | January 23, 2007 at 04:28 PM
There is a good chance they will vote turkey just to spite me.
Posted by: Colman | January 24, 2007 at 11:44 AM