In praise of pies
If you like meat you should love pies. Pies make meat portable. They allow you to enjoy meat anywhere. They have freed man from the campfire and allowed him to invent the picnic.
So it’s not surprising that most cultures have developed a variation of the pie. Consider the traditional British Pork Pie; Cornish Pasties and their close relative the Australian meat pie; Empanadas, the meat and fish pies of Galicia that have spread to Mexico; Calzone, literally a ‘stuffed trouser leg’ from Italy, Pierogi from Poland and Russia; Arabic Sanbusaks, Asian Samosas and to a lesser extent the Spring Roll. All are basically meat encase in a mixture of flour, water and fat.
But to be considered the ultimate meat is this enough that they are convenient and popular? I would say not. A truly great meat needs to transcend cookery and influence wider culture.
Pies define masculinity. Desperate Dan, a man so strong he bench-pressed cows and so tough he shaved with a blow torch, refuelled by eating Cow Pies. But no real man would be seen dead eating a quiche. With just a hint of bacon these pies are more suited to the ladies.
Pies have also shaped sport. Australia’s recent sporting hegemony owes a huge debt to their fervent supporters. Defeated teams around the world have left the pitch with the cries of ‘Aussie, Aussie, Aussie’ ringing in their ears. But this is no more that a bastardisation of the much older shout ‘Oggy, Oggy, Oggy’ originally a warning to Cornish miners that their Pasty was being dropped down the mine shaft. This was adopted at local rugby matches and has since past round the world.
Jan Molby probably doesn’t appreciate this wider cultural legacy. The Liverpool midfielder’s fondness for the centre circle and refuelling often led to the chant ‘who ate all the pies’. But his record amply demonstrates that pie eating need not be just a spectator sport at football matches.
So vote for Pies if you want the portable meat with a cultural legacy.
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