The Carnivore Project

Steak: Better Late than Never

It took me six months, but I finally tried Jaden's recipe for salt-shmeared steak. My first attempt at salting a steak - last October - turned a perfectly servicable hunk of beef into something akin to a salt-lick. Oops. Fortunately, the indominable carnivore spirit keeps forging on (if slowly), and I tried again.

I followed the recipe exactly (note to self: I should do that more often), so only a quick summary follows below. You should check out Jaden's Steamy Kitchen for the full process.

Quick and Easy Steaks

The London Paper (one of those world-strangling freebies that are rammed down your throats in the evening) normally isn't even worth using to line the catbox, but the May 8 edition had a surprisingly decent article on improving steaks by Tom Moggach.

Cheeseburger in a Can

This might be one of the top five most disturbing canned foods I've ever seen.

(Why such qualified horror? Because nothing can out-ick the English Breakfast in a Can)

Delicious Can

From The Onion's annual Cheap Toy Round-Up:

Delicious Can ($.33)

The ol' snake-in-the-can is part of a grand tradition of humor - they say laughter is born of surprise, and when you're expecting salted nuts and are instead greeted by a popping spring-snake, you can't help but guffaw. (If you're, y'know, 60-plus.)

But there's something very, very special about "Delicious Can," a Chinese version of the trick that doesn't exactly get the concept. The outside is decorated with the words "Special Fresh"! and photos of various fruits - none of which would easily fit inside a two-ounce can, nor probably come with a pink lid.

But the real joy is inside: In length and girth, the fake snake is, umm, penis-sized and shaped. And the head is pink plastic. And it features a sort-of smiling face. And while the can is open, the snake remains firmly upright.

Pork Scratchings

I stumbled on a tribute site for the little fellas. I thought it was cute, even a little funny, but then I discovered the page of reviews....

If the site's author is still alive, he/she should probably be committed.

Venison: The Other Red Meat

Somehow, I got on the mailing list for D'Artagnan, a posh American game and pate supplier (both to restaurants and People Like Us). This is cool because

a) I really like the Three Musketeers

and

b) They occasionally send out random epistles about various chunks of food-flesh

In this case, I was alerted that Ariane Daguin (the mind behind D'Artagan) had written some wisdom on eating Bambi. The article - with useful charts of cuts and cooking temperatures can be viewed here.

Steaks and Salting

(In my mind, the title of this post reads as a repetitive chant - like 'Chiefs and Chopper'.... That may be my only reference to the Chiefs this season, enjoy it.)

Julia sent me a great link from Jaden's Steamy Kitchen on how to improve your home steak-cooking - just by adding some salt. The blog owner happily admits that their rationale is based on spurious pseudoscience, but since they provide diagrams to back up said pseudoscience, I'm willing to believe them. As Proctor and Gamble have proven through a half-century of formulaic television ads, a little diagram goes a long way...

Trotter Gear

St. John is launching their first commercial product (not to be confused with their restaurant on Commercial Street) - a squicky substance called 'Trotter Gear', made from the distillation of pig bits, carefully mushed up with STUFF.

I was recently perusing the latest Fergus Henderson cookbook (a birthday  present from Anne), and the origins of Trotter Gear are described in loving (if marginally horrifying) detail. As the 'Gear is also a key ingredient in almost a dozen recipes in the book (including a delicious looking Fried Rabbit), it seems a very useful thing indeed.

Now, thank God, I'll never have to make it myself, as St. John will be selling it through Selfridges (London) as of Monday, September 10th. Fergus Henderson has also promised to make an appearance in person, both to demonstrate 'Gear and to sign copies of his new book.

A new site: www.trottergear.com should be launched shortly.

Buffalo

Once slaughtered to near-extinction - and for hides, not food - SHAME! - bison have made a comeback as a trendy new beef alternative.

As Jeff Tiedman, of the Grand Forks Herald says:

Buffalo meat has a rich, beeflike taste. Nutritionally, it's lower in cholesterol and calories and higher in iron and protein than beef. In fact, buffalo has less cholesterol than chicken with the skin removed or even most fish.

Buffalo also is very versatile. It can be used in a variety of dishes from stir-fry to stew to pot roast. And with summer just around the corner, don't forget burgers, steaks and kabobs on the grill.

Christian Chickens

At the December 2005 Future of Food Conference, advertising guru Faith Popcorn predicted 2006 would see the widespread marketing of "faith-friendly food," including "Christian-raised chicken." Wait -- chickens raised by Christians, or as Christians?

- Gregg Easterbrook, ESPN Page 2

Roast Beast

In a fit of domesticity, Anne and I decided to treat some of our visiting friends to a roast. (This was almost entirely motivated by guilt. During their previous visit, I had out-done myself on the hosting front and treated six people to takeaway pizza...)

After treating ourselves to the distinctly sensual experience of groping every beef loin in the Nine Elms Sainsbury's, we decided on a particularly lucious 2 kilogram (five pounds!) lump of loin.

Also available in five pound lots: Silly Putty

Here's a Fun Fact

"Venison refers to the meat of deer, which can also extend to cover the meat of elk, caribou and moose. However, the word venison originally applied to any 'furred' game, such as rabbit, hare, wild boar and even bear." - BBC Good Food

Sparerib Identification Skills

I know that it's the holiday season - with goodwill to all mankind and all that - but when Pickin' Paul sent me this particular terror, at 'VideoJug', I had no choice but to comment.

It's important to know that these are not ribs:

Lemon Dijon Chicken

Meanwhile, in Chicago:

One large breast, marinated in...

1 tblsp olive oil
1 tblsp dijon mustard
1 tblsp lemon juice
1 tblsp rosemary (I used crushed dried)
3 cloves garlic, squashed
lemon zest
salt
pepper
small shallot, chopped

Marinated for 2 to 24 hours in the fridge.
Then baked for 30-35 minutes at 450.

Anne - "I had it over rice, and both the cat and I approved."

Grassing up Grass-fed Beef

There's a debate going on over at The Curious Cook, a blogger exploring the intersection of food and science. (Rumors abound of 'The Too Curious Cook' who explored the forbidden juxtaposition of food and the occult, got her hands on a copy of the Necronomicrumpet and promptly disappeared. Let that be a lesson to you all.)

The discussion concerns the health merits of grass-fed beef, which is an angle I've never considered before. The short of it is that, after much discussion, grass-fed beef may have more Omega-3 in it than some salmon.

Which is great, as, although that's not exactly an open-and-shut case, it's still an irritatingly useful little cocktail fact to hush carniphobes. I hope you all use it accordingly.

More worrisome is the contained belief that grass-fed beef is 'especially lean and flavorful'. Which is, as discussed here earlier, a slightly contradictory statement. Grass-fed beef is definitely more lean - cattle find the grass easier to digest, so it leads to less fat in the beef. But, accordingly, the widely-held opinion (including by myself) is that less marbling leads to a weaker flavor, not a stronger one. For example, a ribeye is more flavorful than a filet mignon - if less tender.

Scrapple

Although 'scrapple' ostensibly comes from a pig, even the Big Bad Wolf would probably balk at calling it 'bacon'. Scrapple is widely-regarded as a regional delicacy, and most Pennsylvanians reluctantly accept its limited appeal to outsiders.

Still, scrapple is, if not making inroads through the country, not yet forced out of existence. Incidentally, this seems to be despite the horrific phonics of the name. The Scrappler's Association should consider an 'australus' style rebranding?

A brief, but solid, summary of scrapple from a regional paper, The Times Leader:

Scrapple is the resourceful hog butcher’s version of reduce, reuse, recycle. The recipe remembers its roots deep in Pennsylvania sausage territory. Once the standard ham hock and bacon bits have been isolated, the remaining scrap is boiled down, mixed with cornmeal, seasoned and packed into pans. Set firm, scrapple is sliced into slabs, fried and served with hot sauce or maple syrup. Proponents describe it as savory and satisfying, if sometimes unsettling.

One other reviewer, Lynn Kerrigan, the 'Culinary Sleuth', has a substantially less glowing view of scrapple. Although she initially strives for neutrality - probably necessitated by her own Pennsylvania childhood - her conclusion, 'It is inarguably and unfathomably vile', makes her view fairly clear.

Herb-Roasted Chicken

Thanks to Anne.

Herb-Roasted Chicken

Ingredients:

1 whole chicken
1 lemon or lime
1 onion
Baby potatoes (smallest available)
Olive oil (extra-virgin)
Garlic (as much or as little as one likes)

Fresh basil
Fresh thyme
Dried rosemary
Salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 375 F/190 C.

Instructions:

Approx. 3 tblspoons extra-virgin olive oil

1-3 cloves garlic, minced or crushed (depending on preference)

1 tblspoon fresh thyme (minus stems)

3 tblspoons rough-chopped fresh basil (minus stems)

1 teaspoon dried rosemary

(Other spices to taste - bay, oregano, etc. I like oregano with the chicken and bay with the potatoes.)

1-3 tblspoons lemon or lime juice, depending on preference. Keep the squeezed lemon or lime sections, and at least one unsqueezed section.

salt and pepper to taste

Carefully separate the chicken's skin from the meat of its breast, thighs, and if possible, back. (This can be a little fatty and sometimes separates, sometimes doesn't.) Halve the potatoes; chop up the onion, and toss them in a little of the olive oil mixture. Rub the olive oil mixture into the chicken's flesh, being sure to get lots of the garlic and basil under the skin. Rub the rest onto the skin and into the chicken's cavity. If there's any lemon or lime left, squeeze it onto the chicken. Stuff the cavity with at least a quarter of the lemon or lime, some onion, and as many potato halves as will fit. Put the rest of the potatoes and onion in a casserole dish. Place the chicken in a roasting dish and roast for 1.5 or more hours (depending on size; a 1.5 kg chicken will take between 1.5 and 2 hours to roast fully). Baste regularly. Add the casserole dish with the potatoes and onion when you have between 1.5 and 2 hours of roasting-time left; even tiny potatoes take a long time to cook all the way through. Be sure to stir the potatoes and onions occasionally.

Another thing to note: if you like your chicken roasted so that it's quite moist and nearly falling off the bone, drop the oven's temp by 10-15 degrees and increase the cooking time accordingly. If you don't have a meat-thermometer, cut the chicken's flesh to see if the juices run clear, to ensure that the chicken's fully cooked.

Let the chicken sit for 10-15 minutes after you take it out of the oven. This allows the juice to settle in the chicken's flesh, rather than run out of it when you serve it, and will make for a moister chicken.

If you don't want to bother with the potatoes, stuff and serve the chicken with onion only, or onions and carrots, and make rice on the side.

We drank a Chateau Neuf-du-Pape with the chicken, but a white Bordeaux like Chateau de l'Hoste is delicious with chicken. This recipe also works well for Cornish game hen, though a lot less fits inside a game hen's cavity than a chicken's!

I like to use lime juice instead of lemon for a little extra zing. Crushed, dried red peppers and lime juice make the fowl taste a little more southwestern. If possible, I like to crush all the dried herbs together with a mortar and pestle before adding them to the olive oil.

[It's delicious]

What is a steakburger?

'Steakburger', in some circles, is interpreted as a hamburger with delusions of grandeur. That's actually not the case - a steakburger is a hamburger made with steak - leaner, poncier meat, as opposed to the mangled cow bits that compose 'hamburger'. It's like comparing whiskey and bourbon.

Lest that sound perjorative, think again. I really like my bourbon...

A burger made from steak is much more dense - meatier - but also less flavorful.The taste difference actually comes from the quality of the meat. Just as the full taste of a sirloin comes from the marbling, the taste of a burger comes from the fat. And you simply get more if it with the cheap stuff.

So, while a steakburger is still a good burger, it's not a hamburger.

It's worth keeping this in mind at the supermarket - despite being three times the price, that '99% Lean Ground Steak' really won't make the best burgers. (Incidentally, it's still worth shelling out extra for free range and organic... just because you want to keep the fat doesn't mean you need to keep the extra chemicals).